In all honesty, I had decided earlier on in the week to not give an update this week because I had a rough week regarding NaNoWriMo; but I figured that it was not authentic to just post the good things. So I am here today to share my failures of the week.
If you saw last weeks update then you will already know that towards the end of the week, I was already struggling. I seemed too have lost all inspiration. Then as I got into week three, I not only had lost inspiration, I got to a point where I was stuck. I noticed this happening and decided to go through my previous ‘draft’ (if you want to know more about the project then check out the update for week one). I took a scene from it and manipulated it into a scene that was completely different to the original but somehting that worked with the new piece. That was Monday though, and even with the added help, I still couldn’t manage to hit the word count for the day. And after that, despite showing up to write every day with the intention of getting back on track, I just couldn’t get the words out. I had reached a point in the story where I couldn’t get past it.
I have been beating myself up about this all week and it definitely sucks. At one point I was 10k behind. It’s hard to realise you are so far behind and you’re not doing anything about it, because everytime you plan to write something, it either won’t manifest or it simply wasn’t worth writing.
I had relationships in the story that I wanted to change, but I had already written some scenes that would become obselete if I were to go forward with this change. I was struggling to realise that the first 20,000 words were essentially wrong and it was making me not want to write the corrections. I also didn’t want to go ahead and edit the first batch of words, because I needed to get more words down before I could start editing.
Saturdays word count ended up being my biggest writing day of the month so far. Maybe I needed the little break; maybe I needed to skip ahead a little to carry the story on; maybe I needed to accept that the first 20,000 words will have some plot holes when put next to this next part I’m writing. I am still trying to overcome my perfectionist trait and think of this as a draft zero. I can edit later, I can progress it later.
My NaNoWriMo graphs are definitely not a straight line or a consistent graph, but it is definitely a representation of how up and down this process really has been for me. I currently have 28,632 when I should have 35,007. I’m definitely still behind, but when I started on Saturday I was behind by 10k and now only about 6k down. My daily word count is going to have to be upped by quite a bit if I am going to meet the 50k goal at the end. We’ll see how it goes.
I won’t be updating you next week; I will instead next update you in December, so look out then to find out if I manage to complete NaNoWriMo.
How are your projects going? Are you on track or falling behind?